JOKES ABOUT OUR LANGUAGE

But first, a correction. Last week, I said there was one self-published book among the nine Rita Award winners. I was wrong. There were two. The second was TAKE ME, COWBOY, a romance novella by Jane Porter. It turns out Tule Publishing is her own imprint. Congratulations, Jane.

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Language guru Richard Lederer is at it again, making fun of our English language, so here are some jokes to get us through a long, hot summer.

1. Bad spellers of the world: untie!


2. Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.


3. If “Pro” and “Con” are opposites, is Congress the opposite of Progress?


4. Have you heard about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night, wondering if there was a “dog.”


5. My girlfriend texted me, “Your adorable.” I replied, “No, YOU’RE adorable.” Now she’s crazy about me and I haven’t the heart to tell her I was just pointing out her typo.


6. The A.P. Style Guide is now accepting “over” in place of “more than.” A number of people have replied, “More than my dead body!”


7. A linguistics professor lectured to his class one day: “In English a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian and Spanish, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language can a double positive form a negative.”  A voice from the back answered, “Yeah, right.”

Have a great day.