Final Post

After five years of writing a blog every Wednesday, I’m retiring.  This is due to my falling in March and not recovering as rapidly as I would like. It’s been a wonderful five years and I thank those of you who have been my readers. I will miss you all.

To learn about my current books, go to my website at phyllishumphrey.com or my Amazon pages.

AMERICAN CREATIVITY

 I ran across an interesting article last week on the subject of creativity. The person who wrote the article expected to learn that the most creative Amercans lived on the coasts: New York in the East and California in the West. But his research showed something very different. The creatives live in the North, and non-creatives in the South.

According to the NEA (National Endowment for the Arts), creative people tend to live in northern states. They drew a line at the 36th parallel across a map of the country, and colored the states depending on how creative they were, 30%, 35%, 40%, 45%, 50%, 55%, 60% to 65%. All the states below the line scored in the 30% to 45%. All the states above that line scored in the 45% to 65% of creative endeavors.

That is, creating or participating in them, including what we normally consider the Arts, such as writing, acting, painting, music, etc. The NEA worked on this categorization with the Census Bureau in all 50 states in 2014.

The article received 46 comments, (a rather high number for the site reproducing the article), mostly from Southern readers, who were  protesting the findings. Many said Southern people just don’t call what they do as “Art.” They might call it a “craft,” or just some other word about “what they do in their spare time, or to help their church, or whatever.”

Personally, I think it’s rational to assume that people who live in Northern states would use their coldest days to create or participate in art. People in Southern states have more sunny days per year, in which to walk, swim, play golf, or just loll in a hammock, rather than get themselves sweaty or tired from working at their art.

There’s no mystery to this. It sounds like common sense to me. Of course, I live in California, so I get to do both.

FREEDOM FROM ADDICTIVE DRUGS

I‘ve been a reader of THE PASSIVE VOICE (and occasionally a commenter) for 4 or 5 years. Then, in March, I fell and broke the femur in my left leg and also got a blood clot in my right leg, which put me out of commission for the last four months. But I’m recovered from that now and caught up on all the TPVs I missed due to the fall. Since I‘ve wanted to contribute something that would be helpful to some of your readers, I’m attaching a true story.

This is not about writing, but could be about writers who have fallen into the trap of taking opioids and getting “hooked.” It happened to me almost five years ago. I had a knee transplant and was prescribed a painkiller that was very effective, but which I didn’t know (and no one at the hospital or doctors’ offices told me) that Percocet is very addictive. So, when I ran out, I took the form they gave me to my local Walgreen’s and ordered more.

When I decided I didn’t need it anymore, I discovered the awful truth. When I went to bed the first night I hadn’t had Percocet, I couldn’t sleep. I felt as if bugs were crawling all over me, and I had to turn over every few seconds. Neither my husband nor I could get to sleep until he insisted I take a Percocet.

Unlike today when newspapers and magazines are busy warning people about these drugs, five years ago there was no one telling me about the danger. My husband said I was addicted to it and he fashioned a way to get me free. He cut one of the pills in half and I took that half just before bedtime every night for two months. It worked. I could sleep without constant turning over or feeling as if bugs were all over me. Next he cut the half pill in half and I took that quarter pill every night for another two months. When I finally went “cold turkey,” I was able to sleep without the Percocet.

Yesterday our local daily newspaper ran a cover story about how over 200 people suffered (and some died) from overdoses of opioids that weekend. Officials are busy trying to learn who had provided the drugs and get it stopped.

I don’t know what doctors are advising patients to do, but if my experience getting off Percocet helps someone else get off these drugs, I’m glad I shared my story.

Thanks so much for giving us TPV every day. I never miss it.

AN INTERESTING MOVIE

 When I’m required to sit for some time with both my legs up on a footstool (doctors orders, among exercises and walking without my walker or wheelchair), I often watch old movies on television. Last week, it was THE INSIDER, about the tobacco-company worker who told the famous TV host of 60 MINUTES that the manufacturer knew smoking cigarettes caused lung cancer, but was keeping it a secret and had fired him.

 The show grew from an article, titled, THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH, by Marie Brenner, which was published in VANITY FAIR. The story aired in 1964 and this film was made in 1999. It stars Al Pacino as Lowell Bergman, Christopher Plummer as Mike Wallace, and Russell Crowe as Jeffrey Wigand, the whistle-blower. Although telling the truth, which he thought was the right thing to do, Wigand lost his wife and children (she divorced him), in addition to his job. He became a high school teacher, and, after that, he lectured in cities around the world, hoping to stem the use of cigarettes.

 Although the film version didn’t earn as much money as it cost to make, it garnered lots of awards, including nominations and Academy Awards for both Russell Crowe and Christopher Plummer in the U.S., and other awards in other countries.

 I had seen this film when it first came out, but had forgotten lots of it in the years since then. It reminded me of the curent Presidential election, in which people have no great afffection for either Hillary Clinton (the Democratic Party nominee) or Donald Trump (the Republican nominee). But lots of unpleasant words are being tossed around, words we’ve never heard at a time like this before.

 I’m not suggesting you watch the film (unless you want to); however, it intrigued me and offers plenty of opportunities to worry about how this 2016 election managed to become so hostile. And how it will end.

SHERRY'S FRIEND'S WEDDING

 My Blog this week is about the fourth Sherlock Holmes short story. Yes, like many other authors, I’m writing about the master detective invented by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. However, Doyle’s stories were written in the 19th century, and my Holmes is living in the 21st century in the San Francisco apartment of Sheridan (“Sherry”) Holmes.

 In this story, Sherry’s friend tells her about her planned wedding and invites her to attend. Along with her sickly father’s nurse, plus Sherry’s grandmother, Tessa, and Watson, the young, good-looking man who keeps all the old San Francisco Victorians in good working condition.

 But, wait, strange things happen in this story. For one thing the fiancé’ is eager to marry her and take her to his home in Hungary to live. For another, the wedding chapel is painted purple and is staffed by a strange young man who doesn’t even know the groom. But then the groom never shows up. Instead, he writes her a lovely note explaining his anxiety to marry and take her back to Hungary with him. She’s eager to do so because she’s rather obese and never had a boyfriend.

 After that, things escalate. The bride wants to kill the groom, but strange things occur on the San Francisco Bay Bridge. What happens to the groom? Will the bride ever get married? What does Sherlock think of this strange story?


 If you haven’t read my first three Holmes’ stories, here’s your chance. The first story, titled A STUDY IN AMBER (Doyle’s first story about his Holmes, was titled A STUDY IN SCARLET.) And it’s free on Amazon. I made it free so readers who first find my stories by reading later novellas, learn how he came to be a ghost in the 21st century. Except for the three-book story, the rest will cost you the current price of the novellas, $1.99 each.

 A STUDY IN AMBER also contains a mystery which Holmes resolves, and the book (all the novellas) have a certain amount of humor along with a mystery. And, in addition, the fourth story, titled THE MISSING MAN, is coming out as an e-book at the same time. It, too, will show up in printed version later.  So, check Amazon for the new three-story book, and, if you have an e-reader, get a copy of THE MISSING MAN.
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HOLMES and HOLMES

My Blog this week is about a fourth Sherlock Holmes short story. Yes, like many other authors, I’m writing about the master detective invented by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. However, Doyle’s stories were written in the 19th century, and my Holmes is living in the 21st century in the San Francisco apartment of Sheridan (“Sherry”) Holmes.

 If you haven’t read my first three Holmes’ stories, here’s your chance. The first story, titled A STUDY IN AMBER (Doyle’s first story about his Holmes, was titled A STUDY IN SCARLET.) And it’s free on Amazon. I made it free so readers who first find my stories by reading later novellas, can learn how he came to be a ghost in 21st century San Francisco. However, if you want to read books two and three, (and I sincerely hope you like the first enough to try the others) they’ll cost you the price of these novellas, currently $1.99 each.

 As I indicated, Holmes’s story about how he came to live in San Francisco in the 21st century is spelled out in book One, A STUDY IN AMBER, so I’m not going to repeat that here. That book also contains a mystery which Holmes resolves, and the book (all the novellas) have a certain amount of humor along with a mystery.

 Originally, these novellas were e-books only, but I have a lot of relatives, most of whom don’t have an e-book reader, so they’ve been unable to read them. Until now. This coming November, however, will see a three-story book on Amazon, which will contain all three of those first stories in print. It’s titled (what else?) HOLMES AND HOLMES. And, in addition, the fourth story, titled THE MISSING MAN, is coming out as an e-book at the same time. Eventually, that too will show up in a printed version.

 So, check Amazon for the new three-story book, and, if you have an e-reader, get a copy of THE MISSING MAN. Doyle wrote some 50-plus stories about his 19th century Holmes, so I have plenty of work ahead of me. Book number five is already plotted and ready to be written and published. I hope you enjoy reading these stories as much as I enjoy writing them.

 Please tell your friends who were reading my Holmes stories about these new books. And Happy Reading to you-all.

REPORT FROM A CRIPPLED LADY

Well, I’m not really crippled - at least only temporarily - so I expect to be normal again in a few more months. Three months have gone by since I fell in my bathroom and broke the bone in my left leg. The doctor clamped the bone to my hip, and says the X-Rays look good, so who am I to quarrel with him?



What happened next is that I got a blood clot in my right leg, which became very swollen and red, causing me to need a walker to get around easily (although I do walk a few steps when I need to), and my doctor says another six months of healing may be necessary before it’s normal again. It’s already only pale pink instead of red, and much less swollen. So here’s to a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.


Between now and then, if you are one of my former Blog readers, please start reading my Blogs every Wednesday again. And tell your friends and, especially, anyone who was reading me before March 25. Many thanks for your help in getting the word out that I’m back in Blog business again.


As for advice, obey your doctor, and any nurses they send around and you, too, may overcome a blood clot in nine months (or fewer).

For advice about how to overcome an addiction to an opioid painkiller, I did that over three years ago, and it worked, so try what I did, even though I’m not a doctor. Three years ago, addiction to painkillers was not making newspaper headlines, but it is now, so this is offered to help anyone who is caught right now.


About four years ago, I had an operation to replace my right knee. I was given, among other drugs, one called Percocet, and then given a prescription at my nearby Walgreen’s. After another month, I thought I was through with that, and stopped taking Percocet. Whoa.

Without the drug I couldn’t sleep. My skin felt as if insects were crawling all over it, and I turned and tossed in bed every five seconds. I went back to taking Percocet so I could get some sleep. And then my husband, who is also not a doctor (but a very smart guy), told me I was addicted and suggested a way to fix that.

It took several months, but it worked, so here it is for anyone who needs it. We started by my taking half a Percocet at bedtime, and I was able to sleep. We did that for two months, than switched to a quarter of a tablet, and that worked too. After two months of that, we switched to an eighth of a tablet for another two months, and when I finally stopped taking it altogether, I felt normal. Good luck.

Two Olivia Grant Cozy Mysteries

 As you may remember, my plan was to get back to blogging once a
week. However, as you now know, I failed again last week. But it
wasn't my fault. It was my publisher's. 
    
     The publisher of DEAD IN THE WATER, my cozy, humorous mystery,
which came out last October, wanted to release the second book in the
series, titled DEAD MEN'S TALES, on March 21st, but they never gave it
to me to proofread. Since DEAD IN THE WATER had been so easy to
proofread, they apparently assumed DEAD MEN'S TALES would be too.
     Had they allowed me to proofread it, I could have fixed the
problems they found much easier than waiting until only two days
before launch to ask me to fix them. So, in spite of having to attend
the three day Arts & Crafts Show held twice a year here, I had a mere
day and a half to do it. I've ordered an E-version of the book, but
haven't read it yet, so I don't even know if my changes helped or not.
     You see I knew - which the publisher didn't know - that the books
are set in different places. DEAD IN THE WATER is set mostly in
England, where my heroine solves the murder of a distant relative.
     DEAD MEN'S TALES is set in San Francisco, after Olivia goes back
home to continue working in the P.I. office of her brother. And the
plot of the second book involves which of the possible suspects goes
into the room where the victim had gone to read his speech before
giving it.
     It also involves searching for an old VHS tape which has valuable
information on it. Making the reader aware of that VHS tape's use was
my most important change, and I made it, and I hope readers will
follow the trail.
     So, DEAD MEN'S TALES was released yesterday by Smashwords and -
for a short time - is selling for $.99 as an E-book. All I know right
now is that - within the first two days, Monday and Tuesday - it
received 25 five-star reviews. For which I am most grateful. ______________________________________________________

READING WHILE WRITING?

I’m still recovering from the strokes I had in January, although, frankly, I feel quite normal and do everything I did before. However, I’m waiting to find out when and where I go for a few Physical Therapy sessions which they promised me.

Oh well, here’s my Blog post for this week. I’ll try to do one every week, as I did before. And this is one I’ve been asked about often, namely, “Should a writer read while she’s writing a book?”

Many beginning writers ask if it’s okay to read while writing, or will you, unknowingly, transfer some of what you’ve read into your own book. Most writers manage to keep those separate, but, if it’s a problem for you, make a plan for how to keep them that from happening.

First of all, don’t read a book, or anything, which is too similar to what you’re currently writing. For example, don’t read a romance novel, if you’re writing one. Or a mystery, or a science fiction book, if that’s what you’re working on.

Mystery writers are especially worried about putting some other author’s solution into their book. If you made a synopsis of your book, or even an outline, before you started, you should already know how you expect to end it, so you won’t be tempted to borrow another author’s ending.

I don’t read any fiction when I’m writing my own fiction. Years ago, I wrote two books at the same time, but one was non-fiction, and that worked out fine. In fact, I tend not be reading any other author’s work while I’m writing my own. When I’m concentrating on my own story, I think of it first thing in the morning, and basically all day. Maybe I’m the strange one here, because I just have no desire to read anything but what I’m doing.

However, if you’re in the middle of reading a book when you decide to start writing one of your own, my suggestion would be to stop reading and put that book away until you can do nothing but concentrate on it. Or else, finish reading that book until your mind is completely occupied with your own book. That should be all that fills your thoughts. In fact, you might get ideas for how to handle difficult scenes, without actually copying the method you’ve just read. In other words, if you can get some worthwhile ideas from your reading, it can be useful. However, my advice is to stick with your own work until it’s finished. I’m pretty sure you didn’t want to hear that, so I’m sorry, but I’m a one-book at a time person.

WRITING IS HARD WORK

People who are not writers (the kind who get paid for what they write), think writing is easy. After all, we all learned to write in grade school if not before, and, even if we never wrote a novel, we’ve written lots of other things. Letters to friends and relatives, and countless stories, or essays, for school projects.

But “real” writing is hard. Take a novel, for instance. First, you have to know what it will be about, such as the great white whale in MOBY DICK. Then you must put characters in it, and you must know those characters, and what they think about the subject of your novel. They must also know the other characters in the novel, and, preferably, have a different opinion than that of the others.

Your novel must be set somewhere, and you’ll have to describe it, so that your reader has a mental picture of the place, such as the Southern town in TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD. Plus, if a character goes somewhere, you’ll have to describe the “somewhere” she goes, and, perhaps, how she gets there, such as Atlanta, and, perhaps a train.

Which brings us to time-setting. Is your book set in today’s world, the 21st century, or the past, or the future? Books, as you know can be “contemporary,” like GONE GIRL, or “historical,” like GONE WITH THE WIND, or set it some future time, as most science fiction novels are. And, as the author of this book, it’s your job to decide the answer to all those questions.

That’s just the beginning. In order to have a reader read your book, you have to provide a plot for your story. If you want a reader to finish reading your book, and say, “That was a fantastic story. I couldn’t stop reading.” you’ll have to write it in such a way that that’s what your typical reader will say.

In addition, you need to write characters who take part in your plot, and some of them might not agree with your main character about the plot’s worthiness. In fact, the most important thing you have to write is how and why your characters disagree. It’s called “conflict,” and every book worth reading has conflict in it. Even a romance novel, where the characters fall in love and end up together, must have a time in which the reader doubts that will ever happen.

“Okay,” you say, “I won’t write a romance novel. I’ll write a mystery where a sleuth will figure out who the guilty person is and bring him to justice.” Remember “conflict”? The stronger the conflict in your mystery, the more exciting your book will be. Can you write a book like that? Try writing out a plot where your sleuth stumbles upon a dead person and must figure out who killed him, and why. It’s hard.

But don’t let me stop you from trying. All of us writers were faced with those problems, and we managed to answer those questions so well that our books were published and we earned money as well as congratulations from friends and relatives. I’ve written, and had published, nineteen romance novels and now four mysteries. My greatest thrill is reading an Amazon review where the author says, “What a great story.” I hope you have moments like that, too. Just remember, it’s hard to do but you’ll be rewarded when you accomplish i

CO-AUTHORING A BOOK

Okay, you’re right. It’s been two weeks since I put up a post on my blog. But I’m still recovering from the stroke I had in January. And where are the physical therapy sessions they promised me? Huh?

But this week my favorite blogger, Anne R. Allen, has posted an article about-authoring books by Melodie Campbell, and, since I wrote one like that myself not so long ago, I’m inspired to respond to it.

The first bit of advice Melodie gives is to find someone whose style is simiar to yours. Right? No, wrong.

I met my co-author in a writing class and quickly realized we had different writing styles. I write fast–I called it “down and dirty”–and Carole writes slowly, using lots of adjectives, similes and metaphors. It occurred to me we should combine our styles, and when I telephoned Carole, it turned out she felt the same way about me.

So, since we lived in the same town, we got together and brain-stormed our first book. That gave us an outline for a romance novel, and we were off. Since our styles were so different, we took advantage of that. I wrote the first chapter, “down and dirty,” and gave it to Carole. She added all those great words, plus similes and metaphors, all the stuff I coudn’t do. We not only finished that book, we wrote two more together, one a straight mystery and the other a romantic-suspense.

Then tragedy came calling. Carole bought a new computer (different from mine) and my husband retired, so we moved 500 miles away. We decided that, since Carole still worked and I didn’t, that I would send our books to agents and editors, and Carole would send me postage-money from time to time. And I sold our first book, SOUTHERN STAR, to Avalon Books, a well-known romance publisher. That came nineteen years after we first wrote it. Lesson: never give up.

But the publisher, who had already paid us a nice advance, went out of business, and guess who bought them? Amazon! So, SOUTHERN STAR is now a Montlake Romance and they sell copies for us reglarly.

Carole and I kept in touch, slightly, but eventually, we found ourselves able to write together again, so we did. We polished our remaining books and sold another one, the straight mystery, EYEWITNESS, which came out this past October from Coffeetown Press. Our third one is keeping some editor’s desk warm right now, but they can’t win. They’re destined to buy it (says I).

So, even with two completely different styles, we forged a writing bond. We haven’t written any more books together, but Carole left her job and writes books, both romance and romantic-suspense, and I’ve learned to use words, even similes and metaphors, much better. Carole has sold three more of her books, and I’ve sold fourteen of mine.

But, one thing Melodie said in her article is definitely true. Trust between partners is very important, and Carole and I definitely have that down pat. When we do get together, even our husbands get along.

LEARNING TO WRITE

Recently, I’ve read a few articles about how to write a wonderful first sentence for a novel. My choice, which is from my favorite book, REBECCA, by Daphne du Maurier, is, “Last night I dreamed I went to Manderly again.”

None of my opening sentences are like that, but here are some:

COLD APRIL, a romance novel set on board the Titanic. “Throngs of people crowded the docks at Southampton. Passengers just disembarking from the ship, and visitors who came to welcome them, shared the space with automobiles and even a few horse-drawn vehicles. Elizabeth Shallcross hurried through the crush.”

BEATING THE ODDS, A romance about a horse that wins the Kentucky Derby. “The hairs along the back of her neck rose; a cold wave swept up her skin. Someone was watching her. Kerry Frayne told herself there was nothing to be afraid of, but the feeling returned, stronger than before.”

DANGEROUS CHOICES, a mainstream novel about painters flying to an art show in Honolulu. “Exactly an hour and fifteen minutes after taking off from Los Angeles International Airport, First Officer Reg Humboldt felt the strange vibration. For a split second, a tremor of fear clutched at him, tightened his gut. The DC-6 was heading to Honolulu at 22,000 feet, and the last thing he wanted to think about was trouble.”

DEAD IN THE WATER, A mystery with humor, set in the U.K. “No one murdered Edward Mason. At least I didn’t think so. Since he was eighty-two years old, he apparently died of the usual ‘natural causes.’ However, the case of his forty-years-younger wife, Noreen, was a different matter.”

EYEWITNESS, a romantic-suspense novel, which takes place in Kentucky. ”He was going to have her killed, and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it.
‘Come on, Babe, smile. This isn’t a funeral.’”

FINDING AMY, a romantic suspense novel which takes place in London and Paris. “As if it weren’t depressing enough that Sabrina sat alone in her Chicago condo on a Saturday night, her father telephoned with bad news. ‘Your British grandfather has died.‘”


That’s only six, and I’ve had nineteen books published, so I’ll do this again soon. By the way, all the books I listed above were published, so the first lines I used didn’t hurt, and maybe helped.
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THE 2016 EDGAR ALLEN POE AWARDS

My G.P. says I am recovering well from the stroke I had earlier this month, so I’m back at work again, and posting my Blog. This year, the Nominations of the Mystery Writers of America are:

Mystery Writers of America is proud to announce, as we celebrate the 207th anniversary of the birth of Edgar Allen Poe, the 2016 nominees for the Edgar Allen Poe Awards in mystery fiction, non-fiction and television published or produced in 2015. The Edgar Awards will be presented to the winners at our Banquet on April 28, 2016, at the Grand Hyatt Hotel, NYC.

BEST NOVEL

THE STRANGLER VINE, M. J. Carter. Penguin Random House
THE LADY FROM ZAGREB, Philip Kerr. Penguin Random House
LIFE OR DEATH, Michael Robotham, Hachette Book Group
LET ME DIE IN HIS FOOTSTEPS, Lori Roy. Penguin Random House
CANARY, Duane Swierczyski. Hachette Book Group
NIGHT LIFE, David C. Taylor. Forge Books


BEST FIRST NOVEL BY AN AMERICAN AUTHOR

PAST CRIMES, Glen Erik Hamilton. Harper Collins Publishers
WHERE ALL LIGHT TENDS TO GO, David Joy. Pengin Random House
LUCKIEST GIRL ALIVE, Jessica Knoll. Simon & Schuster
THE SYMPATHIZER, Viet Thanh Nguyen. Grove Atlantic
UNBECOMING, Rebecca Scherm. Penguin Random House.

BEST PAPERBACK ORIGINAL

THE LONG AND FARAWAY GONE, Lou Berney. Harper Collins
THE NECESSARY DEATH OF LEWIS WINTER, Malcom Mackay. Hachette
WHAT SHE KNEW, Gilly MacMillan. Harper Collins.
WOMAN WITH A BLUE PENCIL, Gordon McAlpine. Prometheus Books
GUN STREET GIRL, Adrian McKinty. Prometheus Books
THE DAUGHTER, Jane Shemilt. Harper Collins

BEST FACT CRIME

OPERATION NEMESIS: The Assassination Plot that Avenged the
American Genocide. Eric Bogosian. Hachette Book Group
WHERE THE BODIES WERE BURIED. Whitey Bulger and the World that Made Him.    T. J. English. Harper-Collins.

WHIPPING BOY. The Forty-Year Search for My Twelve-Year-Old Bully.
Allen Kurzwell. Harper-Collins.
FORENSICS. What Bugs, Burns, Prints, DNA, and More Tell us About Crime.
Val McDermid. Grove Atlantic.
AMERICAN PAIN. How a Young Felon and His Ring of Doctors Unleashed   America’s Deadliest Drug Epidermic.  John Temple. Bowman &   Littlefield. (Lyons Press)


BEST CRITICAL/BIOGRAPHICAL

THE GOLDEN AGE OF MURDER. Martin Edwards. Harper-Collins.
THE OUTSIDER: My Life in Intrigue. Frederick Forsyth. Penguin Random House.
MEANWHILE THERE ARE LETTERS. The Correspondence of Eudora Welty and Ross   MacDonald. Susanne Marrs & Tom Nolan. Arcade Publishing.
GOLDENEYE, WHERE BOND WAS BORN. Ian Fleming’s Jamaica. Matthew Parker.
Pegasus Books.
THE LOST DETECTIVE. Becoming Dashiell Hammett. Nathan Ward. Bloomsbury.


BEST SHORT STORY

THE LITTLE MEN. Martin Edwards. Mysterious Bookshop.
ON BORROWED TIME. Mat Coward. Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine.
THE SATURDAY NIGHT BEFORE EASTER SUNDAY. Peter Farrelly. Providence Noir.
FAMILY TREASURES. Shirley Jackson. Random House.
OBITS. Stephen King. Bazaar of Bad Dreams.
EVERY SEVEN YEARS. Dennis Mina. Mysterious Bookshop.


BEST JUVENILE

CATCH YOU LATER. Avi. Algonquin Young Readers
IF YOU FIND THIS. Matthew Baker. Hachette Book Group
CURIOSITY HOUSE. Lauren Oliver & H.C. Chester. Harper Collins.
BLACKTHORN KEY. Kevin Sands. Simon & Schuster
FOOTER DAVIS PROBABLY IS CRAZY. Susan Vaught. Simon & Schuster.


BEST YOUNG ADULT

ENDANGERED. Lamar Giles. Harper Collins
A MADNESS SO DISCREET. Mindy McGinnis. Harper Collins.
THE SIN EATER’S DAUGHTER. Melinda Salsbury. Scholastic
THE WALLS AROUND US. Nova Ren Suma. Algonquin Young Readers
ASK THE DARK. Henry Turner. Houghton-Mifflin Harcourt

BEST TELEVISION EPISODE TELEPLAY

EPISODE 7. BROADCHURCH. Chris Chibnall. BBC America.
GENTLY WITH THE WOMEN. GEORGE GENTLY. Peter Flannery. Acorn TV
ELISE - THE FINAL MYSTERY. FOYLE’S WAR. Anthony Horowitz. Acorn TV
TERRA INCOGNITA. Erik Mountain & Melissa Scrivner. Love, CBS.
THE BEATING OF HER WINGS. RIPPER STREET. Richard Warlow. BBC America


THE SIMON & SCHUSTER - MARY HIGGINS CLARK AWARD

A WOMAN UNKNOWN. Frances Brody. Minotaur Books
THE MASQUE OF A MURDERER.  Suanne Calkins. Minotaur Books
NIGHT NIGHT, SLEEP TIGHT. Hallie Ephron. Harper Collins
THE CHILD GARDEN. Catriona McPherson. Midnight Ink.
LITTLE PRETTY THINGS. Lori Rader-Day. Prometheus Books


As you, my readers, can plainly see, almost all the publishers of these books are large (Big 5) publishers. Not an Indie book in the bunch. Or even Coffeetown Press who published EYEWITNESS, the mystery Carole and I wrote and entered. That might be because of the rules by the host company. Oh well, maybe next year. Meanwhile, for those who care, the most books were Harper-Collins (11 books) Next were published by Penguin Random House, who had seven books. Next was Hachette with 4, then Simon & Schuster and Prometheus, with 3, Grove Atlantic (and others) with 2.

Finding women authors was easier. There were 21 out of the total of 53 authors, but that’s still only 40%. I’d have preferred to see 50%.  Again, maybe next year.  I can dream, can’t I?

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

Every year between 2006 and 2015, J. A. Konrath has written a blog listing his New Year’s Resolutions. He tried to teach his readers to become good writers. In 2006 there was no Amazon, no Kindles, no easy self-publishing.

Here’s Joe’s list of Resolutions for 2006:

I will start and finish my book.
I will always have three stories submitted and be working on a fourth.
I will attend at least one writer’s conference and introduce myself to agents, editors and writers.
I will join a critique group or start one.
I will listen to criticism.
I will create and update my website.
I will master the Query process and search for an agent.
I will keep up my Blog and social connections.
I will schedule bookstore signings and greet customers while there.
I will contact local libraries and offer to do book signings.
I will make selling my books my responsibility, not my publisher’s.
I will spend a large part of my advance on self-promotion.
I will help out other writers.
I will not get jealous or envious.
I will be amiable, accessible and enthusiastic.

Do we all know Joe Konrath used those sentences to become a best-selling author? We should because he did.

However, times changed, and Jeff Bezos developed Amazon. He invented the Kindle and turned every newbie writer into a self-published one. By 2010, Joe Konrath no longer needed an agent, or even a publisher. He was making his living as a writer. His list of resolutions was:


I will self-publish. Last year I earned $1650 in December. This year it’ll be $22,000.
This majority is on Kindle, but I’m also doing print with CreateSpace.
The Gatekeepers - agents who submit books - are no longer necessary.

I’m not saying to give up traditional publishing, but there’s no down-side to self-publishing. At the worst, you’ll make a few bucks. At the best, you’ll make a fortune with agents and editors fighting over you.

Do not take any deal that’s less than you’d make in 6 years. If you sell 1000 books per month, then $144,000 is the advance you need.

I have seven novels, each earning $24K per year. In 6 years I’ll have made a million dollars on them.

I don’t expect them to remain the same. They’ll go up.

In 2016, Konrath’s list of Resolutions is one line:
This year, I’m boiling them down to one word: WRITE!

It’s easy to get caught up in different aspects of a writing career. I’ve helped other writers; I started my own company. I evangelized, blogged, collaborated, experimented, promoted. However, first and foremost, I’m a writer. And writers write! I’ve spent a lot of time on my career, and backstory needs that. But now it’s time for me to plant more seeds.

2016 is going to be my most productive year ever. Come and join me.

ENGLISH IS NOT NORMAL

“It’s a wonder English ever caught on,” said John McWhorter, “because it’s weirder than just about every other tongue.” English speakers know their language is odd. So do nonspeakers saddled with learning it. In countries where English is not spoken, there are no spelling bees. For a normal language, spelling corresponds to the way people pronounce the words. But English is not normal.

Anglophones are not exactly rabid to learn other languages. We’re left like the proverbial fish not knowing it’s wet. Our language feels normal, until you learn what normal really is.

We think it’s a nuisance that other European languages assign gender to nouns for no reason. But it’s we who are odd. Almost all European languages belong to one family–Indo-European–and all of them, except English, assign genders. There is exactly one language whose present tense requires a special ending only in the third-person singular. Why is English so eccentric? What made it this way?

English started out, essentially, a form of German. Old English is so unlike the modern version that it’s a stretch to think of them as the same language. Icelanders can still read stories written in the Old Norse ancestor of their language 1000 years ago, and yet, to an English-speaker’s eye, Beowulf might as well be in Turkish.

When the Angles and Saxons brought Germanic speech to England, the island was already inhabited by people who spoke Celtic languages, today represented by Welsh and Irish. The Celts were subjugated but survived, and since there were only about 250,000 Germanic invaders, very quickly most of the people speaking Old English were Celts.

The next thing that happened was that more German-speakers came across the sea. England was a tiny country and probably looked easy to dominate. That was the 9th century, and they didn’t impose their language. Instead they married local women and switched to English. They were adults and adults don’t learn new languages easily. There was no such thing as school and no media. Learning a new language meant listening hard and doing your best.

Then the Scandinavians arrived and spoke bad Old English. Young people learned what they could, but soon bad Old English became real English, and here we are today. The Norse made English easier. Old English had the crazy genders of a good European language, but the Scandinavians didn’t bother with those, so now we have none. What’s more, the Vikings mastered only the shred of a once-lovely system. They smoothed out the hard stuff. We can display all these bizarre Norse influences in a single sentence, but it’s what they did to English in those days.

Finally, as if all that weren’t enough, English got hit by a fire-hose spray of words from more languages. After the Norse, came the French. They conquered the English and ruled for several centuries, and before long English had picked up 10,000 new words. Then, in about the 16th century, educated Anglophobes developed English as a vehicle for sophisticated writing. They even cherry-picked some Latin words to lend a more elevated tone. English-speaking workers slaughtered animals to serve to the moneyed French speakers at the table.

Thus, English is indeed an odd language and the spelling is only the beginning. Then it becomes peculiar due to the slings and arrows–and caprices–of outrageous history. Now, don’t you wish you hadn’t wondered why English isn’t normal?

SCAMS TO WATCH OUT FOR

SCAMS TO WATCH OUT FOR

Darn! I worte my blog post a week ago and then discovered Anne R. Allen wrote one on the same topic for her new blog. I’ve been a follower of hers for several years, so I recommend you-all read hers.

Meanwhile here’s mine. To identify scams related to newbies (beginning writers) check out the following tips.

1. LOTS OF PROMISES. Scam artists try to lure in beginning writers by promising that, if they sign up with their ideas and follow their rules, the writer will get lots of interest, which - according to them - will lead to requests for manuscripts and sales to the Big-5 publishers.

2. BELIEF THAT THEIR IDEAS will lead the new writer/author will find editors and publishers who are looking for just what original stories you write. But, if you check carefully, you’ll soon see that their writers/authors have very few actually-published books available for the newbie to read. Nor are they very good.

3. STUDIES THAT SHOW THEIR PRICES are much lower than what other such services charge for the same service they’re offering you. These claims can be checked out, which you should certainly do. The truth is that all services are vastly over-charging for what they promise to do for you. Don’t be fooled.

4. PRETENDING TO BE A VANITY PUBLISHER. I thought this one died a long time ago, but, no, it’s still showing up. Real publishers, and also agents, don’t need customers to tell them how good they are, or have been. Their real customers do that.

So, don’t get caught in the sticky palms of fake vanity or other kinds of publishers. It won’t be funny.

Have a very Happy Christmas season, and I will be back by then.

Phyllis

Pumpkin Pecan Pies

My apologies for being late with this recipe. I’ve made it every year for over 20 years, and everyone loves it. It will stay here for another week, so be sure to copy it.

PUMPKIN PECAN PIE

Ingredients:
Pumpkin filling
One box yellow cake mix with pudding
1-1/2 cups chopped pecans
8 oz. butter, melted
Whipped cream
Caramel syrup

First buy some of those aluminum foil pie pans at the supermarket.  Place two of them into regular glass or metal pie pans (otherwise you may have pie mix all over the floor!).  Put a circle of waxed paper into the bottom of each foil pan.

Filling: 1 29-oz. can pumpkin pie mix
1 5-oz. can evap. milk
2 tsp cinnamon
3 beaten eggs
1 cup sugar
1/2 tsp salt

Mix thoroughly, pour into the two pans.  Sprinkle half of the box of cake mix on top of each pie.

Sprinkle half of the chopped pecans over each pie. Drizzle half of the melted butter on top of each.

Bake for between 45 and 60 minutes at 350 degrees.  (If you place the pie pans on a cookie sheet you can slide the whole thing into the oven easily.) Chill.

To serve, invert pie onto a serving plate, remove pie plate, peel off waxed paper. Cut each pie into eight wedges and top each with Whipped cream and a drizzle of caramel syrup. Makes eight servings (16 for two pies).  This is very rich.

History, Travel and Recipes

Writing about Pal last week reminded me of other parts of my life: my history, travel and, maybe, recipes.

HISTORY

Curt is my third husband. Don’t look so shocked. Yes, Curt and I have been married a long time, but there were two others before him. The first was a very young man. (Weren’t we all young once upon a time?) We had two children together, but it wasn’t right for me so we divorced.

Husband number two was even younger, and I had one child with him, but that was also not right, and I got another divorce.

I was worried about my choices and was really afraid to marry again. However, I prayed a lot and we talked a lot, so a year later I did marry Curt and we’re still together, still in love.

TRAVEL

Curt worked for an airline, so we traveled. London, Paris, Germany, Italy, Mexico, Canada, and almost every large city in the U.S. He’d been married once before and had five children, so we had a total of eight. Traveling wasn’t easy, but we did it anyway. I loved traveling to places I’d never seen before and those images went into my books.

RECIPES

Sorry, no recipes this time. My daughter came to visit me for a few days, and I’d rather talk to her than write out recipes. Maybe next time. Forgive me and thanks for understanding.

MEMORIES OF PAL, THE COCKAPOO

When our two youngest sons, Marc and Dave, were seven and six, we acquired a puppy from a neighbor. The boys named him Palomino, because, being part miniature white poodle and part apricot cocker spaniel, they thought he was the color of a Palomino horse. As the dog grew, he turned white and resembled a poodle more than a cocker spaniel, but his legs were longer than poodles'. Fully grown, he weighed only fifteen pounds--mostly fur--and everyone called him Pal.

He adored the boys, played with them and let them tease him, never biting. Babies or small children, who pulled his hair or poked his eyes, were in no danger, either, because he simply crept away and hid. He learned tricks easily, such as "Sit Up," "Roll Over," and "Shake Hands" (with the right paw, of course).

Pal loved walks, and rushed to the front door whenever anyone picked up his leash. Occasionally Marc and Dave forgot to close the side gate, and Pal ran away for an afternoon or evening. Then they rode out on their bicycles to look for him, or I drove slowly around town in the car, calling his name. Most of the time we found him ourselves, or a neighbor called, since he wore a license with our phone number on his collar.

As the boys reached their teens, they became very conscientious about taking Pal for his last walk of the evening. We thought this had grown exceptionally long until we discovered that a family with three teenage daughters lived at the end of our block.

One summer morning I came downstairs, and, instead of Pal, I found a note saying he had run away while the boys were talking to the neighbor girls and they had not been able to find him. I roused them from bed and they searched for him on their bicycles, but they returned alone. Then I went out in the car, but also had no luck. I left the side gate open and went on with my activities, and about noon I heard a familiar bark from the back yard. There stood Pal in front of the sliding glass door, waiting to be let in. He was filthy, his hair matted and coated with dirt, and he headed instantly for his water dish and drank as if he had just crossed the Sahara.

He got a good bath and brushing and spent the rest of the day sleeping in his bed in the family room. That night, Marc and Dave got his leash, opened the front door and called to him, but Pal refused to go out. I could swear the look on his face said, "Oh, no, you lost me last night. I'm not going to do that again.”

Of course, by the next night he had forgotten his ordeal. He loved the boys and was up for anything they had in mind. When they were too busy for him, doing homework for instance, Pal would go into their rooms, find their discarded socks and carry them to his dog bed. A year later, while digging in the garden, my husband found a sock buried in the ice plant.

When Marc and Dave were away at upper school, my husband and I took Pal for his nightly walk, and at eleven o'clock he would pull his own leash off the railing and carry it into the front hall. The reward of one of his dog biscuit treats may have had something to do with his learning that.

  Later he taught himself another trick. One night we heard a noise coming from the darkened kitchen. I tiptoed into the room and found that Pal had learned how to push open the door to the pantry (where his box of dog treats was kept on the lowest shelf) and had his head inside the box, busily eating as many as he could.

On Christmas day, Pal, who was not allowed in the living room at any other time, seemed to know that this was an exception and, gradually inched into the room. Then, getting bolder when no one scolded him, he rushed from one person to another, wagging his short tail, as if saying, "Merry Christmas from me too." His present--usually a new squeaky toy--was wrapped and placed under the tree, and at gift-opening time, he found it first, and bit the wrappings off. We never figured out how he knew which was his among the dozens of gifts, but perhaps it carried the smell of the pet store.

Our house was located on the lagoon that ran through the town, with a boat dock and small sailboat. Pal became an instant sailor and was the first into the boat when we hoisted the sails. Usually, he stood on the bow, letting the breeze lift his ears, sniffing the wind. If we didn't take him with us, he sat on the dock, looking forlorn, until we returned. Naturally, I put his leash on his collar and held the end in my hands, but he only lost his footing once, when we came about suddenly on a very windy day. When we sailed past neighbors' backyards, other dogs sometimes rushed down to the water's edge, or out onto their own docks to bark at him, but he never responded.

In fact, Pal almost never barked. Only a stranger coming to the front door could make him lose his cool. He had to be taught to "Speak" and it took quite a while and a lot of dog treats before he did it on command. Surprisingly, his bark was deep and loud, so that he sounded like a much larger animal. One night, when the boys were away at college and my husband was out of town on a business trip, Pal's barking woke me up and I didn't hesitate to grab the phone and call the police. Sure enough, they found evidence someone had come into our fenced-in back yard. Whoever it was had been scared off by the barking of a fuzzy white fifteen-pound Cockapoo.